If this doesn’t make you laugh until you pee, you have the sense of humor of a rock. And I mean that in the best possible way.
Our house has been all about heifer procurement lately–show heifers, that is, big beautiful bovines with limpid eyes and calf-bearing hips. You see, our 16-year old daughter traded swimming for FFA–Future Farmers of America–and her project for the next two years is to be a heifer.
We’ve scoured websites for weeks. Shorthorns, Brangus, Brahmans, Polled Herefords. Ah, the possibilities. Susanne regaled us with the relevant facts on each breed. “Brahmans are a little big, Mom, and I’m a first-timer.” “I don’t like Brangus.” “”Shorthorns are so cute.”
We had one month within which to buy one so that Susanne and the as-yet just dreamed of heifer would be eligible for 2014 shows. She and her FFA sponsor had their eyes on an auction in Dallas, and Susanne glued herself to their website. It was like Match.com for livestock-obsessed teenagers. She narrowed it down to three potentials: two Chianinas and one Polled Hereford. Her sponsor recommended the one she favored, Lot #4, a fawn-colored Chianina, which he called a Chi and pronounced “Key.”
“He said that she’s real gentle, that a ten-year old trained her on the lead. Her hair is easier to manage than a Hereford. I’m going to call her Dixie,” Susanne breathed.
“I’m going to call her Filet,” Eric said.
We ignored him. “She sounds perfect,” I said.
“If her price goes over my budget I’ll pay the extra out of my Christmas and birthday money. I don’t need any Read more »